Also for me the rationalization of the reality just to scientific truths represents a kind of systematic distortion of information and abuse of knowledge. Neo-liberal thinking, where the people primarily have been thrown into the world to compete with each other, and where human rights are restricted mainly to rights to own property, represents to me another kind of ideological nonsense than the past socialist ideology in Poland. I think that we in the Western culture have been brain washed quite in the same way than in socialistic countries by our individualistic ideology of ecologically detrimental materialistic world view. Maybe Skolimowsky is right: Many of us want to live preferably in the conscious delusion. But for my satisfaction, my dialectical inner theater process has guided me to more self-conscious direction, which has opened my eyes. I have noticed that today more and more people have awakened and in I have a feeling that this bias will not endure much longer. People start to realize that we either have to voluntarily make a change in our way of life or the change will happen inadvertently and dramatically.
Maybe one possible explanation for our delusional way of living is, that the people in 50’s to 70’s people where living in unresolved post traumatic war stress. So the people of my parents age and Skolimowsky were used to live at war time everyday living in continuing struggling for satisfying their basic needs. And at the same time, the worth of human life and dignity had been inflated. So since that the majority of Western man has projected his unsatisfied emotional needs to ever growing materialistic greediness. People struggle for getting self-worth by collecting external materialistic symbols. I guess people kind of escape their anxiety in the process of consumerism and the superficial joy it brings with it. The death of the person as a subject happened. A man started to objectify everything in quantitative units, including himself.
Of course my parents and other people of their age wanted to offer us children something, that they didn’t get when they where young, and that was the wealth and the economical security. Materialistic values got deflated and spiritual meanings of the life started to disappear. Maybe the collective post traumatic stress directed us to a process where many of us suffer at the moment of status anxiety. Perhaps the Second World War is one of the explanations for our environmentally disastrous way of living. Too many Western people are nowadays drowning in the piles of all kind of unnecessary materialistic items and things at the same time when one third of the people are living in extremely poor conditions.
I feel that I myself, like so many other people, too, got alienated from the creative work with my unconscious mind. After teenage I started to live the life of outer forms of materialistic facts and things. No wonder I started to feel little by little depressed. I did not listen to my inner sensitivity. I was not aware of that extraordinary interesting part of myself, which is the spring of a long lasting deeper joy and a wonderful source of creativity – my unconciouss mind.
Ten years ago, I could have never stayed at countryside in a cottage for a whole weekend just by myself, because I could not have tolerated so long time of the silence. The inner energy of my mind drived me in those days to the state of continuous doing. And then my cancer and depression forced me to stop. That was the moment I started to use my creative mind for the benefit of my welfare. That happened in the middle of woods in silence. Silence and slowing down in natural environment reperesents to me ecopsychlogical effectiviness. When a person has just the instrumental materialistic way of looking things, I guess he does not have time to use his creative mind and the ”facts” will not be questioned. I have a theory of my inner theater process; it is due the childhood ’s lack of reflection. Maybe that is the explanation why I created for myself as an adult the theater of mind, where I could do continuously reflection and integrate my thinking with my different ego states to a more coherent person. The decades of my life as a outer theater, soap opera, changed it’s form to inner theater. I found my way to being.
Actually there are many explanation for my different states. Some of them are of traumatic origin. They talk a lot nowadays about state dependent memory. Certain memories are connected to certain emotions. Some of my ego states are born by the need to create myself certain roles, so that I could get approval from my peers. By acting a variety of roles, I got from the people what I was looking for – their acceptance. Maybe as a child I felt that the pure myself was not worthy of love. Some of the newer ego states are creations of my possible selves.
In the sum of sums, my past life has not been as tragic and interesting, as our friend Skolimowsky’s. My life was happening in a prosperous environment with it’s usual cultural limits and trends. I had quite a normal little Western girl’s life in a big family (six children) with usual moments of joy and greed.
Marxism inspired Skolimowsky in the way that he got interested in the human history and the future studies. He realized already during his Poland period, that the mission of better life is not stupid but noble. My hope and the mission of better life was born during and after my cancer treatment and after the chaos of that depressive period. Quit absurdly when I touched the death, it helped me to live. I had studied by my self for about ten years philosophy as my hobby before this chaotic time. The final hope was brought in to my life at the epiphanic moment, in which I realized that I am not the first and last person who feels herself uncomfortable in this culture of Homo Consumers. I noticed that a lot of people are swimming with me in the same stream. I realized that my duty as a person and mother is always trying to find a positive perspective. I have to do continuous work for maintaining this optimistic attitude to life, because our own concept of reality constitutes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think I have little by little became a director of my inner theater.
Skolimowsky studied technology and analytical philosophy in Poland. After that, at the end of the 50’s, he educated himself in Oxford. He did not think that the University of Oxford was in any way special or better than his own university in Poland. He even writes that it was a place where everyone was something, and that is why nobody was anything. In Oxford, he learned that if a person says any nonsense convincingly with the excellent and brilliant company, most of the people are oddly receptive. Later he continued his education in the Southern University of California. As the rule the atmospheres of the universities were in his opinion pathological. There had been built a hierarchical system of competition in these institutions. Instead of being centers of learning and knowledge universities were construction of competitive ants. They were full of masked people who dealt with the substance which was covered with the fog. To understand the nature of life, people ought to have both the wisdom and the sense of moral responsibility. Skolimowsky claims that the current Western system does not have either one of them.
I partly agree with Skolimowsky with his critics, but I still insist, that at the moment we are living time, where the people’s way of living is changing in the positive direction. At least I have found my hope. More and more people start to become ecologically and ethically conscious of Western pathological materialistic values in education. Those changes are seen in the margins as horizontal movements, often virtually organized, and they are seen in the personal anti-materialistic choices of people. I suppose we have kind of gotten sick and tired of being just consumers. We start to realize the madness of status anxiety.
Still a couple of words about my background. My academic CD is not as impressive as Skolimowsky’s. I am dentist. I got my degree in the end of 80’s. After that I became NLP Trainer and I participated in several shorter solution -orientated courses. I have been an active writer of their publication, Ratkes-journal, here in Finland. In 2006-2009 I took a course of hypnotherapy in Tampere University, which became a turning point of my life.